The toenail saga leads to falsehood

So to begin with, a bit of background info on the toenail saga:

When I was but a wee 17 year old lass, back in the day, I went on holiday to Newquay after my A-Levels, and naively thought it would be a great idea to wear flipflops to a club. Long story short, I got trodden on by some stiletto-wearing bitcheroo, which damaged my nail bed and the nail turned black and fell off, and has been an iffy excuse for a nail ever since. But slowly but surely it grew back...

Then, back in 2007 when I was living in France, I went to a salsa club, again wearing flipflops, and the aforementioned toenail ripped off because my partner stepped forward at the wrong time and caught his shoe underneath my nail... urrrrrrrrrgggghhhh. So, it grew back all ingrown and minging and I had to have an operation on it and then it got infected, and I had to have 3 more operations on it, finally having the entire bloody thing removed last summer.

It grew back a bit dodge, but it was there all the same... until last week, when, without warning, it just fell off again.

So, to get to my original point, I decided I was fed up with having a splendiferously 'unusual' looking toe, and the time came to experiment with ye olde falsies.

The brand I used was Fingrs Dazzle Toez, mainly because they were the only ones I could find in Boots.

So the principle is exactly the same as false finger nails - whack yer glue on, hold it in place for a few ticks while it dries, file it into the shape/length you want it and hey presto. It comes with I think 3 different sized sets for different sized tootsies, and it does come with glue too, I just missed it out of the photo. So far so good...

Sorry for my gross feet, but you can't even tell which one the falsie is (it's the big'un on the left).

So at this stage I was very pleased. But then came the 'wearing shoes' test. Sandals were fine, there was no pain or interference of any sort. But the next night I wore tights and ankle boots and MY GOD did it hurt. It felt like someone had a pair of pliers to my nail all night, trying to yank it out! I left it to calm down overnight but the next day decided I couldn't bare that pain again, so headed for the acetone to soak and remove. And this was where the real trouble started...

After forty mins, yes, FORTY MINS, of soakage, the nail still wasn't budging... Another twenty mins later, I was able to peel off the corners, and the rest felt a little loose, so I pulled. WAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm squirming just thinking of it. I won't show you a pic of the end result, but it ain't pretty. I'm missing skin, the teeny bit of nail that I had left around the cuticle is gone, and my toe seems kinda permanently dried up and shrivelled from its acetone bath!

NEVER AGAIN!!!

Having said all this, if there have been any good false toenail experiences I'd like to hear about them... this could of course just be my bad toe luck!

xxx